googled06bb313055e587a.html Rock N Roll Rehab for the Control Of Rock and Roll Starring Greg Piper and The Tooners: As Long As There's Sex I Can Do Without The Rock And Roll

As Long As There's Sex I Can Do Without The Rock And Roll

A recent case of HIV reported in the Porn industry in California has resulted in a law requiring porn performers to wear condoms. This law not only changes the Porn Industry but will change society itself.

The recent law passed in California that requires participants in pornographic movies to wear condoms as a health care precaution will have deep repercussions in Southern California culture as a whole and as So Cal goes, so eventually goes the country. Although the law will most likely eventually be declared unconstitutional since it is targeted only at male porn actors and thus “sexist”, it might be around long enough to force some serious changes.

First among these changes will be the rise of an illegal “underground” porn industry since the demand of condom free porn will still exist. Most people don’t enjoy actual sex with a condom so watching porn stars use them in the sexual fantasies of a porn film will be even more unsatisfying.

Making condom-free porn illegal is merely the first step in making all porn illegal. To escape prosecution porn producers will resort to disguising their new films as “Vintage” pornography, thus making it exempt from the new regulations. To simulate the look of vintage porn the actors in the porn industry will have to make some changes which in turn will change the personal styles of millions of ordinary citizens.

1. Fake boobs -  Although silicon breasts have been around a long time, to be safe a porn producer won’t want any new surgical procedure technique giving the authorities a reason to question a porno’s given date of production. Artificial breast enhancement, or at least fake looking boob jobs will be a dead giveaway except on heavy set women. We’re looking at the return of the zaftig lady.

2. Tattoos - Tattoos on women were virtually unheard of until the 1980s so to simulate the look of the pre-tattoo era women performers will either have to have their tattoos completely removed or modified to appear pre-1990. Some suggested styles might be circus freak tattooed-lady style, outlaw biker mama style or “Sailor Jerry” butch lesbian style.

3. Pubic hair - The shaved pelvic region look will be out and back will be the cave woman look of the 1970s. The up side to this is that it may make it easier to hide some tattoos.

4. Hot bodies - More than the women, the men in porno will have to cut back on the gym and the body sculpting and man-scaping and return to a more natural look. How old do you have to be to be an average looking guy and be able to remember when the men in porn movies didn’t look all that different than you?

5. Attention spans - To simulate an old fashion (non Internet porn) porno movie there will have to be a return to some sort of story line and character development. Yes, this will be intolerably boring to anyone under 50 years old, but that’s what fast forwarding is for.

6. Sexual technique - One of the biggest changes will be the return to the sexual techniques of a whole other generation. This means the return of foreplay, kissing on the mouth, fondling of breasts and the absence of extreme bondage, spanking and anal sex.

7. Camera technique - The process of filming porn will have to revert to a time when you could actually see a man’s face and not just the back of his head or an extreme close up on another part of his anatomy.

8. Humor - Gone from modern Internet porno but one of the great things about classic Seventies porn is a sense of humor. Most people today know who Ron Jeremy is and have no idea how a guy who looks like Ron Jeremy could ever have become the most famous male porn star in the world. Ron Jeremy started out in 70s porn when there were characters and stories, at least a premise. Ron always played the fat, dumpy, usually stupid sidekick to the handsome stud star and would hide in the bushes and watch through the window as the hero got all the action. He was the comic relief. Eventually Ron Jeremy the actor became Ron Jeremy the Producer and that’s when he started to star himself in his own productions and thus started to be taken seriously as a porn star. Let’s face it, no one ever cared who the guys were in these films because if anyone ever did, Ron Jeremy would never have risen above comic relief.

9. Titles - Probably the best part of the humor equation in old style porn is that many films were spoofs of popular movies and their titles were takeoffs such as; Shaving Ryan’s Privates and On Golden Blonde.

10. Home video - Since the condom law is for the Porn Industry and applies to professional producers of pornography, the ever growing “home video” market of home made porn will not only continue to rise but many professional films will be produced with a low tech look to simulate home made product. In other words. old, fat and ugly will be the new young, hot and beautiful.

1 comment:

  1. I think it's a shame that love-making is considered a sin, spreads disease, and has all the hang-ups that go along with it.

    Some say sex is all about pro-creation. Yeah, right! Every time I BOING I'm thinking about NOT getting her pregnant. (and other things, too)

    What's gonna happen to the Rock & Roll slogan of Sex, Drugs + Rock N Roll?

    All I know is when I wear a condom, after hours of friction from lack of feel, my partner's v-spot, (VAGG) is smoking like a tire screeching to a stop after going a million miles per hour. Imagine that!

    Hey, here's an idea that I like - How about simulated MARRIED porn stars being allowed to BOING without condoms, but dating porn stars, or strangers, or quick acquaintances have to use CONDOMS to be safe. Does that get the true point across? Because, I am into safe sex, bottom-line!