BERLIN (AP) — Justin Bieber had to leave a monkey in quarantine after
landing in Germany last week without the necessary papers for the
animal, an official said Saturday.
Remember what I said about cutting Justin Beiber some slack last week (click here)? I take it back. Everybody knows that owning a monkey is the international sign for out of control. Michael Jackson's chimp, Bubbles, was a cry for help. If someone had intervened when he first got that ape he might be alive today. What did the producers of Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story do when they wanted to show Dewey was heading down hill? They gave him a chimp, that's what. Nothing says, "I'm a wack job" better than having a money on your shoulder, unless you're an organ grinder. And why is he traveling with it? Is the money part of his stage show? He better say it is whether it is or not because traveling with a monkey as a "companion" is on the road to Michael Jackson weird and that can lead to extortion and expensive legal costs.
One exception is the monkey that Susie Piper of the 80s band, The Pipers, used in her act. During her song, Jane, about Tarzan's girlfriend, Susie would wear a leopard skin leotard and have a monkey hand puppet that looked like it was holding onto her neck as she worked its head with one hand. She and the monkey had a cute routine and she'd end the song by seductively peeling and eating a banana. There was nothing "gay" about that monkey.
Susie of The Pipers having a snack mid-song. She's not crazy, she feels nuts.
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