The Stones' New Tour

The Rolling Stones are expect to start a new tour soon and some people are asking not "where" and "when" but "why"? The short answer is "why not"? The slightly longer answer is "to get out of the house". What do you think you'd do all day if you were in a Sixties Superstar Rock & Roll Band? Play golf? Maybe, if the band you were in was Alice Cooper but if you're a Stone you're not going to walk around on a lawn all day wearing plaid and for some reason golf courses aren't open at night, are they? Seriously, are they?

There's even a bigger question, a mystery for the ages, really; why is Keef Richards still alive? I know that's a running gag but really, isn't his mere existence making a mockery of everything we were taught about excesses and drug abuse? Keith is 69 years old and that makes him ineligible to qualify for dying young. I think the average in America for a male is around 79 these days but no one looks at the obit of a Sixty-nine year old and says, "Oh, he was so young. He had his whole life ahead of him." No, they say, "Sixty-nine? He lived a full life." Sure, Keith looks like he's 96 rather than 69 but he's still breathing, and apparently still touring with the Rolling Fing Stones!

Back in the Sixties some reporter asked Mick if he thought he'd still be singing Satisfaction at forty years old and by the time he gets on stage with this next tour he'll be a less than a decade short of twice that age. The problem with the Stones going on tour again next year is everyone who told me they wouldn't last and to whom I would love say, "Oh, yeah? Take that!" are all dead.

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