MY Modern Fable

Once upon a time....

There was a little boy (inside a huge, fat, old guy), that was walking down a beautiful forest trail (see below). The little boy stopped at the second bend in the trail leading up to his home (since the old fat guy had to catch his breath) and turned to look back at the trail. 

 The magical trail from the elementary school toward home.

     "What an enchanted forest", thought the boy as he glazed upon the forest woodland. "I wonder if there are any fairies or elves lurking in these woods?" he mused, having once lived in North Hollywood. "Naw, there aren't even any Magic Mushrooms," he realized, disappointed. "I don't know why they call the nearby mountain and local landmark Magic Mountain, there's no Psilocybin or peyote anywhere near it." Although Bathsalts and Heroin seemed prevalent in the surrounding Kingdom.

Once he returned home he saw a tiny blue-gray bunny rabbit with a white cotton tail nibbling on his new front lawn.

     "How cute," he thought. The bunny must have come through the small drainage hole in the wall that separated the front yard of the estate from the back gardens. The cute little bunnies easily hop over the small stone wall and the wrought iron fence into the yard and eat the garden vegetables but really seem to think the new lawn is a delicacy.

The new lawn that took three weeks of laying new sod after tearing down a big Brazilian Pepper Tree whose roots were tearing up the yard then having to take all the old sod to the dump and tear up the roots that made the lawn look like Huckleberry Finn had buried his raft under it and then rototill the soil and remove the rocks and green plastic netting that made the base of the old sod then pressing down the new soil added to the old soil with a big heavy roller filled with water then loading and unloading so much new sod that it took two trips because the weight pressed the truck bed down onto the rear tires so the truck wouldn't move, then lay down dozens of pieces of heavy, awkward sod just to find out later that those CUTE LITTLE BUNNIES PISS WHILE THEY EAT THE GRASS AND HAVE LEFT TONS OF BROWN BURNED OUT URINE SPOTS ALL OVER THE NEW LAWN!

The little boy's wife now calls him Elmer Fudd; "Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!"

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