googled06bb313055e587a.html Rock N Roll Rehab for the Control Of Rock and Roll Starring Greg Piper and The Tooners: Tap Into America

Tap Into America

     A couple of years ago my band, The Tooners, decided to try and get some PAID gigs so we reformed as a Tribute Band. Legendary music PR man Dave Rudabaugh was there to interview us. The following is his interview:

I met with multimedia rock band The Tooners at their studio to interview them about their new tour and their brand new show concept.

DR: In the past The Tooners have performed with their own animated music videos projected behind them on stage, what is this new show like?

Greg: I’m in a Beatle tribute band called Revolution and one called Working Class Hero, A Tribute To John Lennon, as well as The Tooners which is an original trip, so I thought another tribute band would be a good idea.

Neal: There’s tons of tribute bands out there, it is its own genre.

DR: So, what band are you doing a tribute to?

Pat: We’re going out as The Tooners, A Tribute To Spinal Tap.

Neal: We’re not the real Spinal Tap but an amazing recreation.

DR: But Spinal Tap isn’t  real.

Greg: Isn’t real good? Maybe not, but they’re good enough that someone made a movie about them.

Neal: I’ve seen them twice in concert and they are good. I don’t like it when people slam them just cause they’re old.

DR: You guys don’t really look like them.

Pat: Not now, but on stage with the audience twenty or thirty feet away, and loaded, we look just fine.

Neal: We look just fine when the audience is loaded, not when we are.

Greg: Actually Neal, you do look a lot better after I’ve had a few.

DR: You don’t have the same hair as they do.

Greg: They wear wigs. If you see them without their wigs on their hair is pretty short. We just play them as they really are.

Pat: Without their wigs on.

DR: There are three or four guys in Spinal Tap but there are  a lot more of The Tooners.

Neal: Actually, there are about three official Tooners and a couple dozen associate Tooners. They just don’t like hanging with us.

Greg: As far as doing interviews and stuff.

Pat: Yeah, they’re pussies.

Neal: We can beat the crap out of them so they’re scared.

Greg: But they’ll be there for the gigs.

Pat: Or else.

DR: Who plays whom?

Greg: I play bass so I should be Derek Smalls, but I’m The Tooners’ lead singer so I’m also David St. Hubbins.

DR: How will that work?

Neal: Well again, I think the audience needs to cut us some slack, have a few drinks before we go on and don’t forget to tip your waitress.

Pat: I’m the drummer so I play all the drummers. Peter James Bond, Stubby Peeps, Mick, Sam and Dave, the whole lot.

DR: Spinal Tap drummers tended to die. Are you worried?

Greg: Part of the show will be Pat’s accidental death. He’ll die every show.

Neal: He’s the Kenny McCormick of rock and roll. I’m lead guitar so I’m Nigel Tuffnel.

DR: You’re not really thin enough to be a believable Nigel.

Neal: I play Nigel in his later, fat years.

DR:  Spinal Tap has only had two albums, how much is included in your set?

Greg: No, Spinal Tap has had lots of records. Intravenous DeMilo, Shark Sandwich, Smell The Glove, Break Like The Wind....

Pat: It’s just that most of them are out of print and hard to find.

Neal: Besides, we found that most people aren’t too familiar with Spinal Tap’s songs anyway.

DR: You mean you don’t actually play any Spinal Tap songs?

Greg: I don’t know. We might, name some.

DR: Sex Farm, Big Bottom, Stonehenge, Tonight I Want To Rock You Tonight, Hell Hole...

Neal: We do Hell Hole. That’s one I wrote.

DR: If you wrote it it’s not a Spinal Tap song.

Neal: Oh, maybe not then. It has the same name though.

Greg: Listen, my Beatle band does Dizzy Miss Lizzy, Matchbox, Rock And Roll Music, Kansas City and other songs that were written by Chuck Berry, Carl Perkins, Little Richard, Buddy Holly and others and the audience never even notices they’re not Beatle songs.

Pat: I don’t think people really listen anyway.

Neal: Live bands are just there to give the crowd something to stare at so they don’t creep each other out by staring at each other.

Greg: Yeah, if audiences really wanted to listen they wouldn’t keep yelling at us to turn it down.

DR: Sounds like you guys have really put a lot of work into this show. What do you think the real Spinal Tap will think?

Pat: Are they still alive?

Greg: I think they’d be flattered. And since we really don’t look that much like them or play their actual songs really, I don’t see how they could complain.

Pat: They’re pussies anyway.

Neal: We could beat the crap out of them.

DR: They have lawyers.

Neal: I meant that in a good way. No one wants crap inside him.

DR: You guys aren’t really doing a tribute to Spinal Tap are you?

Greg: We might be. Why do you ask?

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