Drummer: The Joke

 By now we've all heard plenty of musician jokes but have you heard this one?

Question: Why is a drummer like a keyboard player?

Answer: Because they both want to get paid.

That's funny because it's true. No, wait, that's not funny! But it sure seems true. We've been trying to find a drummer for a while now and all of them want to get paid, even to rehearse. I suppose a drummer doesn't quite have the creative satisfaction of someone who is playing a song's melody or singing its lyrics and it is a physically demanding job. Just transporting the instrument is hard work. But rock bands seldom have "producers" the way other forms of entertainment do. I don't mean Record Producer as in someone in charge of recording a band's album but an Executive Producer, someone who puts up the money up front to get the show going. TV shows, stage plays and movies don't even begin without a budget to pay for it all but a band has to get their equipment, write and arrange their songs, rehearse and purchase their stage clothes all on their own dime.

Love of the music requires you love the particular songs, the vocalist and the instrumentalists of a particular band, along with all the members' personalities, before it becomes a factor in whether or not to join a band as a member as opposed to a paid position.

Sure, we'd all love to get paid to play our music (my music) but the money won't come, if it ever does, until it's presented to the public in its finished form. Young people just starting out understand this but us older folks have had our dreams destroyed and our bands break up before any money started rolling in enough to have awaken from the dream and just want cash up front.

Enter the drum machine and playing to tracks. A terrible proposition to a real musician used to the energy, sound and camaraderie or a real band but more and more a real possibility. We used to use an early version of a drum machine for recording the drum tracks to our demos, tape versions for the band members to help them learn the songs, we named Mister Coffee. His friends called him Joe not just because he made a good cup of joe (which being a drum machine he did not do) but because the spokesman on TV for the Mr. Coffee Coffee Maker was baseball great Joe DiMaggio.

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