I just had an experience that reminded me of something. Years ago I was employed at a major film studio and my supervisor, the head of the department, was a young lady. I had known her a while and she knew I had no trouble whatsoever with working with women.
Although my father was always present and active in my life, he was an only child and my mother had only one sister. My father and two youngish great uncles were outnumbered by their three wives, my two grandmothers (no grandfathers), my aunt, my great aunt and my two great uncles' two daughters each. My aunt had so many husbands that eventually none of them really counted as a male influence. My aunt, an animator, had gotten me into the business to begin with and her female friends in the industry sort of kept an eye on me so I was used to working with women.
Although my father was always present and active in my life, he was an only child and my mother had only one sister. My father and two youngish great uncles were outnumbered by their three wives, my two grandmothers (no grandfathers), my aunt, my great aunt and my two great uncles' two daughters each. My aunt had so many husbands that eventually none of them really counted as a male influence. My aunt, an animator, had gotten me into the business to begin with and her female friends in the industry sort of kept an eye on me so I was used to working with women.
My supervisor complained that many of the men in her department and under her authority just didn't pay any attention when she tried to talk to them. One older man from South America was downright rude in how he would ignore her when she spoke to him.
She asked me if it was because of something about her and I told her it was not, other than she was female and young. But I explained why, in my opinion, men do not generally like working with women, if the woman is in charge. It's not strictly a male ego thing but because of the old adage; "A man's word is his bond but it's a lady's prerogative to change her mind." Many men believe that they cannot count on the word of a woman employer. In an industry where lying is standard operating procedure this becomes especially irksome.
I recently talked to a woman who books entertainment for a local coffee house and agreed to book an act I was promoting on July 13, from 7:00 to 9:00. She said she just needed the store manager to call me to confirm. After a few days passed and I called back looking for confirmation she told me that she had said that all the bookings for July were filled and that I could have a date in August. July 13th from seven to nine is pretty specific and I didn't just pull that date and time out of my ass as she seemed to imply. She never told me July was filled, she told me JUNE was filled. She told me I could have July 13 from seven to nine. She just simply "changed her mind." She's smart enough to know that you can't just "change your mind" in business once you've given your word so rather than admit she "changed her mind" she just blatantly lied and said she said something to me that she never said.
This sort of "I said 'No'" (when I previously said 'Yes") and "you can't accuse me of lying because I'm your boss so just live with it (I changed my mind, so what?)" attitude had happened enough to me that I was able to explain it to my female supervisor many years ago. As frustrating it is to have a woman supervisor change her decision and not even admit to changing it but force you to admit to having "misunderstood" and "made a mistake", it must also be frustrating to be a woman in a position of power and have your male employees distrust anything you say. No wonder women get such disrespect in the office and I don't think they're even aware of what they're doing. I've never had a man pull this as a male supervisor will simple say the situation has changed and now we're going to do something different than what was previously discussed. In other words a man will just say. "I changed my mind." I don't think I've ever heard a woman say that.
No comments:
Post a Comment